It's been almost three years in Los Angeles and having the luxury of traveling (and working) back and forth between here and Canada means that I stay connected with both worlds and the people I love.
Recently I hung out with a fellow Canadian friend living in the US (also a mother), and we were musing on the sense of urgency that American culture presents to people starting at a young age. She birthed both of her children in the US, where mine only entered into the American school system a few years ago, so she felt the immediate pressures of having to apply to childcare and pay for the perfect school before they were born. Imagine feeling like you must know exactly which schools your child needs to attend from pre-school to university in order for them to have "success", and you haven't even birthed them.
There's a sense of urgency and competition that I see in many of my American born friends that I don't see with my Canadian friends. Many of us don't feel this strong sense of exceptionalism and if you're not born into the culture of it, you feel slightly repelled by it, like you're an outsider. It's this feeling that makes me more selective of who I want to be exchanging energy with because I'm trying to get out of hustle and grind culture, and LA is full of it.
Having a child also changes your perspective on things, like the difference between what's urgent and what's important. Urgent to me is scheduling a doctor's appointment quickly if my child is unwell.
What can feel urgent doesn't necessarily mean it's important and what's important doesn't necessarily mean it's urgent.
Sometimes I witness people acting urgent about minor things - like if someone hasn't responded to their text or e-mail in a day, or whether or not a coffee date has been rescheduled and for when and what time and where.
At one point in my life this may have felt urgent, but more and more I'm focusing on what's actually important.
For example:
1) Being at home to welcome my son when he's done school for the day. This is a privilege. Many parents don't get to choose this but I can. It's important to me that whenever I can be there for him, that I am.
2) Doing free work on a strangers film versus mine. Recently I had the opportunity to do some line producing for a holiday feature film. It was for a pretty big company, but it was unpaid, no contract and only a promise. I gave a few hours of my time before I realized I was doing for them what I wanted/needed to do for my own film, Those Days of Summer. It seemed urgent to say yes to the opportunity, but it definitely isn't more important than working on my own film.
3) Feeling like I need to get my film, novel or any creative project done immediately, because look at all these other people showing off theirs. I back away from that energy. I know I'll get mine done, but it's important to me to complete my creativity in a way that feels right for me so that it's enjoyable, otherwise I've missed the point.
The list can go on. I'm not saying one way of thinking or living is better or more right than the other, but I do know what's better for me personally and what makes me happiest.
As the saying goes, it's the journey that's more important and not the destination. For once I feel this deeply in my core.
Happy full moon my friend.
A note about the moon today:
A bit about the Corn moon or Harvest moon today, according to Space.com will be reaching it's peak at 11:09PDT or 2:09EDT. It's a special one because there will be a lunar eclipse, and will create a rare "blood" moon, however it won't be visible at all from North America. There will be plenty of pictures on the Internet.
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